What If Pests Had Birthday Parties?

It’s no secret that pests of all kinds can reproduce way quicker than we would prefer. This is why having a few insects in the garage can quickly turn into a small army of pests a few weeks later. Most insects come from eggs that are laid in large groups, while others are born live (like tsetse flies) and just wait to be strong enough for independence. Since they are born in such large quantities no matter the method, it is assumed that pests don’t celebrate their birthdays. They are too busy trying to fend for themselves and scavenge for food that will sustain them for their typically short lives. But what if pests could celebrate their birthdays just like us? Let’s take another journey into the fictional world where pests can participate in activities and celebrations that we enjoy!

The Ice Cream Party – Ants

Ice cream parties are not just for kids! This delectable summer treat is a favorite dessert of many people (which we can personally attest to), and for good reason. There’s no limit to the amount of toppings you can put on any flavor of ice cream, which is the whole idea behind an ice cream party. One pest that we know already loves all things sweet is the infamous ant. Ants are eusocial insects that live to gather food and materials for their colonies, especially their queen. They use invisible chemicals called pheromones to lead other worker ants to the prime food locations, which is a smart move considering they have to move it back to the nest. Luckily for them, ants can carry about 50,000 times their own weight! Their noticeable sweet tooth would come into play if they could have an ice cream party. The ant would invite their many friends over to its house to enjoy an ice cream sundae bar, complete with every topping you can imagine. Cookies, sprinkles, candies, sweet sauces, nuts, fruit, frosting, and even sodas would have been eagerly purchased by the ant, who has no self-control when it comes to planning birthday parties and eating sugar. Of course, their own sundae would be piled so high with toppings that they would drop a few crumbs on the way to their seat, but there’s no rules when it comes to a birthday treat!

The Movie Night – Bed Bugs

Bed bugs are one of the top three worst nocturnal pests we can think of, considering the fact that they live to drink our blood and multiply very quickly. They can be found in mattresses, furniture, luggage, clothing, wallpaper, and blankets that are constantly near people. Although they don’t spread diseases or bacteria, the red, irritated bites that bed bugs leave behind are enough to make us never want them nearby. Speaking of nighttime, bed bugs would definitely love to have a fun movie night for their birthday party. This could either be at the movie theater, since they already can be found in those seats of unkept theaters (sorry to say), or it can be in their backyard. The home option may be more fun, as there is space to have concessions and comfortable spots for their friends to watch the movies. Bed bugs would spend all day laying out blankets and chairs, preparing popcorn and other movie treats, and wrestling with the projector and screen to show the movies on. The dessert would be a red velvet cake (get it?) with cream cheese frosting. They would show their favorites all night, but only take a break from talking to their friends when they know the best part is coming up. Which movies are shown? We can only assume bed bugs would love films like Jurassic Park, Twilight, and Jaws, for obvious reasons. 

The Painting Party – Bumble Bees

Some of the subjectively best birthday parties are the ones where the guests also go home with little mementos from the day, such as a creative-themed one. Painting parties can take on all shapes, from watercolors to pottery to techniques from a class. The best part is that, after spending a few hours creating and spending time with friends, everyone goes home with their masterpiece! This kind of party would be perfect for the busy bumble bee. This bee acts like most bee species, as bumble bees also live in hives where they bring back pollen and nectar from their findings in gardens. They intentionally gather every last drop of nectar from flowers, and their fuzzy bodies easily collect pollen as they go along. Bumble bees would love a painting party because of their creative abilities with their honey-making and flower-visiting. They would likely choose a ceramics shop that offered all kinds of wares for guests to paint and leave to be fired. The bees would love just spending time with their friends, talking about how much they love their current job, all while painting a beautiful piece of art with a mug or a small saucer. They would only use bright colors for their paints and center their design around one of their favorite things, which would likely be a flower garden. And when it comes time to have birthday cake at a local bakery, the bumble bee would likely want a honey cake with lavender frosting, because why not?

The Sporting Event – Centipedes

Centipedes are a pest that don’t appear in every home, but they provide quite the scare when they do show up. The number of legs they can have is extremely varied, but is anywhere from 15 to 177 pairs. Since centipedes are nocturnal, they can easily hide in the damp areas that they favor, all while using their antennae to detect the locations of their food. This constant movement and athletic build (minus the abysmal eyesight) is why centipedes would love to just go to a game for their birthday. They would take a few of their friends and attend a night game of their favorite team. It would likely be a baseball game because centipedes are most active in spring and summer, which is incidentally when baseball is at its peak. The centipede would be very excited at the idea of getting a hot dog with their favorite toppings – ketchup, mustard, and relish – since they love their protein. Their dessert would be one of those little souvenir helmets filled with a scoop of chocolate ice cream, and the centipede would keep the helmet, of course. Even though their seats would likely be in the second level of the stadium, the centipede would still have fun watching the game and spending time with their friends. They may have to have their party guests give a play-by-play since they can’t see what’s happening, but it’s the thought that counts.

The Karaoke Night – Crickets

Karaoke is not for the faint of heart, as the idea of getting in front of a bunch of strangers and singing a popular song is the idea of a true nightmare to many people. Most audience members are just there for fun and don’t mind the fact that some eager singers simply cannot carry a tune, but there still needs to be a level of bravery involved. Despite its tendency to hide and avoid going near any people, crickets would definitely be the first ones on the karaoke stage. They are famous for their chirping songs that come from their hidden locations in tall grasses, and these songs actually vary depending on what the cricket is trying to say. Male crickets rub their wings together in a process called stridulation in order to attract mates. Crickets would definitely have their list of go-to karaoke songs that they would love performing both with and for their friends that cheer them on. It would be a mixture of old and new love songs that the cricket enjoys singing, and they would have quite a nice voice for not being a singer by trade. The cricket would have so much fun during their turn at the mic, they would inadvertently convince their friends to try their hand at it too. Their party would split a dessert of chocolate mint cupcakes, since green is the cricket’s favorite color. No one would be able to stop talking about the iconic performance that the cricket did for their all-time favorite song: “Strawberry Fields Forever” by The Beatles.

The Party Picnic – Fruit Flies

Fruit flies may not seem like a major pest since they tend to stay around overripe fruit, hence the name, but they definitely become an issue when they start laying hundreds of eggs in your kitchen. They are completely harmless and don’t bite us, but fruit flies are a tiny nuisance with their buzzing around the food and crawling around the kitchen. They also enjoy the yeast in fermented alcohol and other drinks, which is why a can with just a few missed drops in it could be infested with small black bugs very quickly. This whole experience is why we believe that fruit flies would love to have a picnic for their birthday party. It would have to be a temperate day, but that’s fine since fruit flies love warm weather anyway. They would go to their favorite park with lots of trees and flowers, and use their watermelon-printed blankets as the seating area for this party. The picnic would be a potluck format, where the guests all bring their favorite dishes to share. The favorites would include homemade turkey clubs, kettle chips, potato salad, and all things fruit – fruit salad, fruit kebobs, fruit yogurt, fruit juice, and a strawberry cake with lime frosting for dessert. The fruit flies would bring their famous fizzy fruit punch, which is basically just every common fruit juice mixed with sparkling water. 

The Pool Party – Mosquitoes

If your friend’s or your own birthday is during one of the summer months, you have likely gone to your fair share of pool parties. As a child, it’s fun to spend all the time in the cool water and only emerge for party snacks; as an adult, it is a much more relaxed experience with floating in the pool while holding on to a drink the whole time. Another being that enjoys the water, much to our chagrin, is the mosquito. This pest spends the first three of four life stages in the water, as their young selves need to stay in the water and breathe air simultaneously. This is why a trip to any pond or lake during the summer likely means returning with a few mosquito bites. If mosquitoes could have their dream pool party, it would likely be fun yet relaxed. They would like to float in fun pool floats most of the time, but they would not be opposed to a fun game of “Marco Polo” with their friends. They would have a music playlist that they spent weeks curating, most of which are just laid back country songs that they also like to listen to by the lake on their fishing trips. Mosquitoes would have the typical pool snacks, like chips and grapes, but their dessert would be the best part: snow cones! They would have their own little machine (a birthday gift from a previous year) that they would use to make snow cones for all of their guests. And the mosquito’s favorite flavor? Cherry, for both the color and the sweet taste that everyone else thinks is medicinal, but the mosquito loves.

The Concert – Moths

If you were to look at any porch, stadium, or street light in the summer, you will likely see a group of frantic moths clamoring to get near the bright light. These nocturnal pests are attracted to any kind of light, specifically ones high on the UV spectrum, which they then swarm and stay near. Moths use the moon and stars to navigate like any other nocturnal creature, so a bright artificial light causes them to take a detour in order to keep the light above them while flying. If moths love our normal house lights now, they would absolutely adore the lights at a major concert. They would go to their favorite artist’s show, which would start around 8:00 pm, and make sure to get there early to get a standing spot right by the stage. Whatever kind of music the moth would like, they would not be able to keep from dancing all night. The energetic nature around our porch lights would definitely translate to the concert, as the moths would have the time of their lives with the big group they went with. The moth would even make their own after party at a late-night restaurant, since they don’t go to bed for several more hours anyway. Because of this, their dessert would be any kind of pie that the restaurant is still serving, likely apple or cherry. The moth would enjoy any kind of sweet treat they get, and would want to get it to-go before driving to the nearby overlook to watch the city lights all night with their best friends.

The Pest-Preventing Celebration

As fun as these birthday parties sound, they really lose their luster if pests invite themselves to the real party. These weeks leading into autumn and cooler weather are busy for pests who are looking for shelter from the changing temperatures. This unfortunately means that our homes and businesses are primary targets for tiny critters who don’t want to stay outside. Luckily, our experienced technicians are prepared for this time of year and know just what treatments will keep those bugs at bay. Contact us to learn more about how we can prevent your house, and any upcoming parties, from becoming a pest party for the ages.  

Citations

Crickets. (n.d.). Terro. Retrieved on September 8, 2022, from https://www.terro.com/crickets

Interesting facts about centipedes. (n.d.). Pest World. Retrieved September 8, 2022, from https://www.pestworld.org/news-hub/pest-articles/interesting-facts-about-centipedes/ 

Lees, D. & Zilli, A. (2019, November 1). Why are moths are attracted to light?. Science Friday. Available at https://www.sciencefriday.com/articles/why-moths-are-attracted-to-light/ (Accessed on September 8, 2022).