What If Pests had a Favorite Thanksgiving Dish?

Happy early Thanksgiving from Green Pest Services! For many people, this is the one day a year where a turkey is the centerpiece of the meal, which can be either good or bad depending on who is cooking the bird. But many people who partake in this food-filled holiday are more enticed by the side dishes rather than the turkey itself, and for good reason. There are so many options for sides, both traditional and trendy, and many of them are worthy of scooping up more as a second helping. But this raises the question: which famous Thanksgiving dishes would common pests enjoy the most if they could have their own feast? Let’s find out!

Turkey & Gravy – Spiders

Steady, consistent, predictable – that is the diet of a spider. Some species actively hunt their prey and are helped along by their impressive speed and flexibility, while others stay put in their crafted webs and wait for their prey to become trapped in the sticky strands. But either way, spiders fall into the beneficial category of pests because they eat the small insects that otherwise plague our gardens and homes. Due to their consistent, protein-packed diet, spiders would definitely enjoy the turkey and gravy the most out of the feast. When asked if they want dark meat or light meat, the spider would just say, “All of the above.” While the other guests would be going for the side dishes or saving room for dessert, the spider would pile on the turkey and even go back for more. And, as per the tradition in many families, spiders would save the rest of the turkey for a delicious sandwich the next day, complete with sourdough bread and gravy spooned over the poultry. 

Mashed Potatoes – Roaches

Homemade mashed potatoes paired with delectable gravy is the favorite dish of many people who are fortunate enough to have someone in the family with great culinary skills. If the mashed potatoes are bland and boring, they did not reach their full potential in the meal. They are completely customizable, depending on who is attending the dinner, and can include butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon, or green onions. But the starchy core of this dish is exactly what cockroaches would enjoy the most out of everything on the table. These pests are essentially the garbage cans of the insect world because they eat just about everything in existence, including items actually found in a trash can. They prefer anything with starch or cellulose, such as cardboard, book pages, and glue. Roaches would likely make a mountain of mashed potatoes in the middle of their plate, with a carved-out canyon for gravy. They would love every food offered, of course, but the mashed potatoes would be their favorite by a landslide.  If the roaches had any leftovers the next day, you can bet they would all be piled high on a sandwich, with layers of mashed potatoes for that extra starch.

Green Bean Casserole – Praying Mantids

Praying mantids are another beneficial critter that are formidable foes to any insect or animal around their size. They are experts at being patient insect predators, by staying in their famous “praying” pose and waiting for insects to accidentally amble too close and get snatched by the mantid. The praying mantis is completely carnivorous and will eat insects, arachnids, lizards, and other small creatures. But if they could partake in the Thanksgiving meal, it would be quite fitting that they would enjoy green bean casserole above all. This dish is usually comprised of green beans (of course), canned soup, seasonings, and topped with fried onion straws. It is not the healthiest way to eat a vegetable, but that is what makes it so fun! Praying mantids would love this side dish primarily because they look very similar, which mantids would probably get a kick out of. They would also enjoy the turkey for the protein content, but the mantids would not be able to resist going back for seconds of the classic green bean casserole. 

Cranberry Sauce – Ants

Cranberry sauce is one of the most polarizing dishes on the table. Some love to balance the salty with the sweet, while others prefer to save the sweets for dessert later. There is also the debate of whether canned or homemade cranberry sauce is best, and it typically depends on  the standard offering of that home every year. No matter what your own stance is on cranberry sauce, one thing is for sure: ants would love the chance to enjoy this sticky, delectable treat. They enjoy just about any food that we eat, but they tend to favor sugary substances. This is likely because of the taste and the energy that the food gives to the tiny ants. The workers leave a trail of pheromones behind for their fellow scavengers, resulting in a group of ants traveling to the source and taking some back to their colony. If ants could enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner, they would heap spoonfuls of cranberry sauce onto their plates with every serving. Whereas other guests might take a smaller portion, ants would take as much as they could so they could have some sweetness in every bite. They would not care if it was canned or homemade since the sweet concoction would be satisfying in any form.

Stuffing/Dressing – Mice

The name of this dish heavily depends on where you live and how strict your family is on definitions. Many households call this “stuffing” whether or not it was actually used to stuff the turkey, but other families specify that the “stuffing” was inside the bird and the “dressing” was cooked outside the turkey. This concoction of bread cubes, onions, celery, spices, and chicken broth is delicious both on and after Thanksgiving, especially if you put it on a leftovers sandwich. One pest that would enjoy this dish more for the texture than the flavor is mice. These critters are always on the lookout for a warm shelter in which to build their nests and expand their families. To achieve this, they typically chew through walls, insulation, and wiring when they have the opportunity. Their teeth are strong enough to get through all kinds of man-made materials, and they need to keep gnawing in order to keep their teeth healthy. Mice would love stuffing/dressing because it would feel just like the materials they normally chew through, but with better flavoring. They would certainly taste everything on the table, but they would keep coming back to this dish as a major comfort food, with its fluffy texture and delicious taste.

Sweet Potato Casserole – Bees

Despite what the cartoons may have led us to believe, bees don’t eat honey every day. They live off of a diet of nectar and pollen, both of which are used to make honey. Honeybees may eat honey in the winter when they are trying to conserve energy and warmth, and the queens enjoy it year round, but their sweet tooth is actually satisfied by the nectar produced by flowering plants everywhere. Speaking of sweet foods, sweet potato casserole is not a staple of every Thanksgiving table, but the people who do enjoy this dish are major fans of it. It is usually comprised of sweet potatoes mixed with traditional baking ingredients, then baked in a casserole dish and topped with mini marshmallows. If any pest would enjoy this concoction, it would be the bees. They would love the sweetness of the vegetable and the ingredients, but the marshmallows would definitely be their favorite part. The bees would take a bit of everything to be polite, but they would keep coming back to the sweet potato casserole and end up asking the host for the recipe so they can try and recreate the magic at home next week.

Rolls – Moths

 Moths can be pests in a couple different ways. One is that they swarm our porch lights and ceiling lights if they happen to sneak inside, which is more of a nuisance than anything. But the other way is if the moth species in your home is one of the varieties that enjoy clothing fibers, since clothes moths can chew some gnarly holes in clothing of all kinds. Moths can also induce allergy and asthma symptoms in people who have them, especially if the moths die in the house and their dusty wings are left there for a while. But when the moths are alive and fluttering around, they would definitely love to munch on some fluffy dinner rolls that mirror their own bodies. Bread is a staple of full meals any day, but Thanksgiving especially is a day for enjoying small portions of bread accompanied with the seasoned and saucy dishes. Moths would enjoy rolls in whatever form they take on, be it the sweet packaged rolls, rolls made from canned dough, or the famous dinner rolls made from Grandma’s decades-old recipe. The moths would start with just taking two rolls, but would take one every time the basket is passed around the table. They may end the night with a total of eight rolls eaten, but who keeps track on a day like Thanksgiving?

Pumpkin Pie – Fruit Flies

Any dessert after a full Thanksgiving feast is great, but the most common category that always seems to make an appearance is pies. Apple, pecan, cherry, and chocolate cream are all popular options, but there is just something about a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on Thanksgiving. A different kind of staple of any food-centered gathering is the fly, and more specifically, the fruit fly. These tiny flies only live for a couple of weeks, but they make the most of it by devouring fermented foods and laying about 500 eggs at a time. They thrive in the summer, but fruit flies can be found in all seasons if they find warm shelter in which to survive. Fruit flies would be anticipating dessert all evening, and would be ecstatic when they finally get to enjoy pumpkin pie. Pumpkin is technically a fruit, so it is right up their alley. The fruit flies would pile on the homemade whipped cream to make the dish even sweeter, and would happily accept when the host offers the lonely remaining two slices to-go at the end of the night.

Green Pest Services is a Feast of Pest Solutions

Thanksgiving should be all about the delicious food and enjoyable company, not about the pests that try to make your meal their own. This is why our technicians are here to provide customized treatments and thorough inspections for all kinds of pest issues! Our eco-friendly products are EPA-approved and safe for humans and pets, so you don’t have to worry about dangerous chemicals getting into your food. Contact us to learn more about our efficient services and how our team can solve your pest issues with the same care and focus that goes into preparing a Thanksgiving feast!